Evil Boss
by buffyxander
Summary: Buffy Summers is having a quiet night in. Her husband Will is away on a business trip when Xander Harris, her husband's boss comes over. He tells her that Spike has been stealing from the company and that he's going to turn him over to the police. Unless, she sleeps with him.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1:_

Buffy Summers-Pratt was having a quiet night in. Her husband was out of town on a 'business meeting.' Buffy was getting some well deserved R and R. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. She frowned, looking at her watch. It was 10.15.

_Whom could that be?_

She tiptoed to the door, then looked through the peephole. The boyishly handsome face of Xander Harris peered back at her. Her husband's friend and boss and all around good guy. In fact, over the last couple of years, he and Buffy had become fast friends as well.

She unlatched the door to find him looking a bit haggard. His usually well combed hair was unruly and he his shirt and tie were undone.

"Hey Buff," he said, waving a folder at her. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," she said, stepping aside.

"Are you okay?"

"We need to talk," Xander said, walking into her living room.

"About what? Buffy said, her eyes knitted with a frown. She did not like the grim sound of his voice.

"Spike," Xander said, looking down at the floor.

_William?_

"Spike isn't…" Buffy began, but Xander cut her off.

"Here…I know. That's why I'm here."

She folded her arms over her chest.

"What is this about?" she asked, her voice anxious.

Xander swallowed, then gave the file to her.

She opened it, leafing through the pages.

"I don't…."

"Spike's been stealing," Xander said simply, sitting down on the couch.

"From the firm."

Buffy's felt her heart drop.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "No."

"He wouldn't," Buffy said frantically. "He couldn't."

"Has Spike been…..acting any differently?" Xander asked softly.

Buffy's eyes widened. Spike had been awfully quiet lately. As if something was bothering him. She'd tried to talk to him about it, but he just waved her away.

"Why would he do this?" Xander asked his eyes filled with pain. "I mean, he made two-hundred thousand dollars last year. Why would he do this?"

Buffy felt her heart rip.

_Oh no. Oh please no._

Her mother's gallery had suffered heavy losses over the last year. Buffy had taken over after her mother's death. The first year had been an unmitigated disaster. Buffy had even considered selling it off, but Spike had talked her out of it.

"We'll manage," he had sworn.

"But the money," Buffy protested.

"I can get money," Spike had chuckled which had caused her to roll her eyes.

"How?"

"I steal from the rich and I…."

"Give to the poor?"

"Sod the poor," he growled, winking at her, which made her laugh.

"I keep it all."

At the time, she'd thought nothing of it. But now…..

"Buffy," Xander said. "I have to let Spike go. I just have to.…."

She nodded her head, numb with grief and anger.

"You should call a lawyer," Xander said sympathetically, breaking through her fog.

"What?…" Buffy said, still unable to comprehend his words.

"The cops Buffy," Xander said, as if he were dealing with a small child.

"They're going to want to investigate."

"You'd…..you'd do that?" Buffy whispered.

"You'd do that to us? To your friends?"

"What choice do I have?" Xander said, unable to meet her eyes.

"Don't," Buffy said, sitting down next to him, touching him on the arm.

"Please. I'm begging you. We'll be ruined."

"Buffy," Xander protested.

"Please Xan," she begged in desperation. "Please."

He loosened his tie, tossing it aside. "I guess I could leave the cops out of this," he said, finally.

Buffy felt relief flood through her.

"I could convince the senior partners not to press charges. Let Spike resign quietly and pay back the money."

"Xander…." she said effusively, "I don't know how to….."

"But I need a reason," he said, looking up at her, his voice low and and his eyes strangely intense.

"You need to give me a reason not to."

Buffy withdrew her hand, as if she had felt a shock. Her heart began to race.

_What does he mean…._

"Xander?" she asked, her eyes questioning him.

"I need a reason Buff," Xander said, his eyes flickering to her lips.

"A reason not to."

"I don't under….."

"Yes you do," Xander cut her off, touching her on the leg, his hand gently squeezing her thigh, making her suck in breath.

She looked at his hand, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"You want your husband not to rot in jail for the next ten years," Xander said, his voice soft.

"And I…..want you."

"You want me?" Buffy echoed, her head dizzy and her mouth incredibly dry.

"You know I do," Xander said, his voice heating up, his hand squeezing her leg.

"I've wanted you since the day we met."

"I….I…." Buffy stuttered, moving away.

"Don't deny it," Xander said harshly.

"We both know it's true."

That forced her to think about it. How she'd tumbled into his arms the first time he'd arrived at the gallery.

"Can I have you?" he'd asked.

She'd laughed and held up her ring.

"Married. Sorry."

She'd seen the flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but to his credit he'd recovered well enough. They'd had a good laugh after they'd discovered he was her husband's boss. They'd become close friends as well, laughed

and flirted and hung out. More than once she'd noticed him notice her, but had dismissed it with a knowing smile. Looking back, Buffy realized that she always knew that he wanted her. She'd just never given it any real thought.

"I can't," she whispered, her eyes pleading with him.

"We can't. I love my husband. I can't betray him."

"Love me tonight," Xander said, taking her hand.

"And you'll still have a husband to love tomorrow."

Buffy slapped him. Hard. She gasped at the pain she felt in her hand and at what she'd done. She almost apologized to him before she remembered what he was asking of her.

"Get out," she said, the thought now making her shiver with rage. The nerve of him. Coming here and expecting her to….

"No," he said simply.

"No?" Buffy said, her eyes flashing with rage.

"Are you going to rape me or something?"

"Never," he said, genuinely shocked. At least he pretended to be.

"I'd never hurt you."

"Leave," she insisted.

"Please."

"I wanna make love to you," Xander said.

"With you."

Buffy felt her knees shake.

_Make love? To me? With me?_

"Not a chance," Buffy said, outraged.

"Spike stole two million dollars," Xander said.

"That's ten years. Without parole."

That deflated her. Ten years? Ten fucking years? She couldn't bear the thought of him being away for ten days, let alone ten years.

Her eyes filled with tears.

_Spike….you stupid, proud ass._

And then he'd be out, a voice whispered. Without a license. Without being able to do the only thing he'd ever loved. And then what? And then what's left?

She looked at Xander then. He was looking up at her with his soft brown eyes.

_Would it be so bad?_

The fact that she'd even considered it shocked her to her very core. She'd never have thought herself capable of even considering it. But then, she'd never have thought Spike capable of stealing. And she was desperate.

_No. No. I can't. We can fight this. We can fight this…_

"Be with me," Xander said, extending his hand.

"Be with me tonight and this all goes away. I promise."

Buffy looked at his hand. Her heart wasn't racing anymore, it was about to burst from her chest.

_No. No. No. You don't have to._

"Spike doesn't have to go to jail," Xander said, his voice soft and soothing.

"I can help you. If you'd only let me."

Buffy looked at him, for the longest time.

"If….if we do this," she stammered, unable to believe her own ears.

_What am I saying?_

"Buffy," he whispered, his eyes lighting up with joy. He came forward,attempting to take her into his arms. Her hand shot out, restraining him.

"IF….we….do….this…" she said, making it amply clear that this was far from a done deal.

"Everything goes away," Xander said.

"I promise."

"Which means?" she said, pulling away. She needed some distance between them.

Xander sighed. "I let Spike resign. Quietly. Spike finds a new job. He pays us back. With interest. Thirteen percent. No cops."

"And I'm supposed to what….just trust you on that?" she said, scowling.

"Being the boss has its perks," he shrugged, almost shyly.

"So you could help us?" Buffy asked, her eyes wide.

"Without….."

She couldn't even bring herself to say it.

_Us sleeping together._

"My ass would be on the line," Xander said, trying to make her understand the gravity of it all. "My reputation at the firm. My career, if I'm ever found out. I could lose everything if I'm caught covering this up. God knows the senior partners wouldn't lift a finger. I might even

end up sharing a cell with your husband."

She stared at him, unable to comprehend him.

"Then why would….?"

"For you," he said simply.

_For me?_

"I'm not worth…." she said frantically.

"You are," Xander said, "you are to me."

Suddenly she had a thought. If Xander was so infatuated with her, then chances are he was lying to get her into bed. This whole thing could be a con.

"I need to talk to Spike," she said, thinking quickly as righteous anger rose within her.

His face fell. "You think I'm making this up?"

"No," she blurted out, eager not to offend him. On the off chance that what he was saying was true, she'd need him.

"I just….need to…..hear him say it."

He folded his arms, his eyes darkened. Buffy felt hope flare in her heart.

"Just once," she said. Xander picked up the phone,

dialled Spike's number.

"Go ahead," he said. The flare died. Instantly.

"You didn't hear this from me," Xander said, sitting down on the sofa, rubbing his hands through his hair.

Buffy held the phone to her ear, letting it ring.

"Hello love," she heard a voice say suddenly. "Miss me?"

"Will," she said, her voice shaking.

"What is it?" he said, his voice filling with concern.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true love?"

She could barely bring herself to ask.

"Two million dollars," she said.

Silence. She could hear him suck in a breath.

"Who told you?" he said, after a long pause. He voice sounded miserable.

"Anya," she replied, looking at Xander, her voice quaking.

"Yeah," he said finally. "It's true."

The pain in his voice was an arrow through her heart.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Buffy whispered.

"Baby, I wanted to," Spike said, his voice breaking. "But…"

Buffy didn't want to hear anymore. She threw the phone into the wall, shattering it.

"I'm sorry," Xander said tenderly.

"No you're not," Buffy snapped.

"You're not sorry at all."

"I am," Xander insisted. "I'm sorry for you."

"Me?" Buffy said.

"You don't deserve Spike," he said, shaking his head.

"You deserve…."

"You?" Buffy mocked, "Prince fuck me or I'll send your husband to jail charming."

For the first time this evening, Xander's face hardened.

"It's your choice," he said casually. "One night with me, or ten years alone. Fifteen if the prosecutor wants to make a point."

She looked at him with disdain she had to work hard to disguise.

Her eyes flashed, then faded.

_God help me._

"Okay," she said softly.

"Is that a yes?" Xander asked, unable to believe his ears.

Buffy felt the air go out of her. She was too tired to argue anymore. She just wanted it over with. So she could forget.

"Yes," she said, to the empty room. Xander stood, then closed the distance between them, intending to take her into his arms.

"Wait," she said. He looked at her expectantly.

"Promise me," she said, biting her lip. "Promise you'll…..help. After…..tonight."

She knew how damn naive she sounded. He was trying to get her into her pants. Of course he'd say yes. He'd promise her the sun, the moon, the earth and all the stars in the universe. And then….

"I promise," Xander said as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Buffy looked into his eyes, trying to determine if he was lying. They were earnest brown and shining with something she couldn't

quite comprehend. It distressed her. She could understand lust. Disgusting as his actions were, she could understand lust. But lo….

_No. No. He doesn't love me. If he really loved me he'd never do this._

"Rules," she said suddenly, as if she remembered. He raised a brow.

"We need….to….set…. ground rules," she faltered.

"Just one rule," Xander declared, in a tone that brooked no argument.

"Tonight I get to have you. All of you."

As if to make his point, his hand slid down from her waist to cup her bottom, squeezing it possessively. Buffy gasped at how casually forward he seemed. But he wasn't done talking.

"Everything I want," he said. "Everywhere I want. And as many times as I want."

He squeezed her ass again and again and again, as he made his demands, making her nostrils flare.

_Mine_, his eyes seemed to say.

_Tonight, you're _all_ mine_.

That wasn't exactly what she had in mind. She was hoping for a quickie in the dark after which he'd get the hell out. She thought to protest, but he cut her off.

"And tomorrow, you get everything you want," he whispered. And then they just stared at each other, knowing that this was it. The point of no return.

_Yes or No?_

Buffy put her hands on his hands, which were firmly on her ass. She enjoyed the bitter disappointment that flashed in his eyes when she pushed them off her.

_How do you like them apples?_

"Okay," Xander said softly. He drew himself upto his full height, then turned to go.

_Right. You've made your choice._

"Wait," she said, closing her eyes, her voice faltering.

Xander paused. Buffy opened her eyes, with a determined look on her face, then pulled him after her into the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy felt like she'd spent just moments in the bathroom. Once inside, Xander had taken complete charge. He had insisted she get 'dolled up' for him. He'd even picked out something for her to wear.

I look like a stepford slut, she thought, staring at herself in the mirror. What am I doing?

A knock on the door, told her it she was out of time.

"Just a minute," she said loudly, trying not to betray her anxiety. She looked at herself in the mirror, took a deep breath and opened the door.

Xander was sitting on the bed, waiting for her.

When she stepped into view, Xander felt his heart stop.

As he'd requested (but really ordered), she'd slipped into a little black number that showed a lot of her golden tanned legs and more than a hint of cleavage. Her hair was shiny and coiffed and her face was shiny and perfectly done up. She was, by far, the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

"Come here," he said, his voice just a caress on her shoulder. It made her shiver. With hate. She knew that despite the softness of her voice, it was an order.

Xander switched on the bedside light, bathing them in a soft golden glow. He patted the place where he wanted her to sit, right by his side.

She took her spot, trying not to look at him as he quickly tossed off his shirt.

Immediately, she did a double take. He was absolutely ripped. His arms were muscular and lean and his stomach was layered with abs. Whoa. Who knew that underneath those layers of clothes, hid a fantastic bod. Her breath quickened. Despite her disgust with this situation, she couldn't help but feel a little turned on by his sculpted physique.

"Been working out," he said, smiling at her, noticing that she had checked him out.

"Can we not talk?" she said, glaring at him.

Xander simply lay back against the headboard.

"Come here," he said, extending his hand.

Buffy considered her options. Her very bad options.

Face to face?

No. I don't wanna look at him.

Back to face?

No. A world of No.

So what then?

Sideways it is.

Buffy bit her shiny looking lip, then crawled over to him and positioned herself across his lap.

"So beautiful," Xander whispered in awe, surveying her.

He let his hand run up her long smooth legs, caressing and stroking, as his lips found her neck. Buffy closed her eyes, determined to block out as much of this experience as she could. His tongue lapped the salt of her neck, sending a shiver through her as his hand massaged and manipulated the tanned golden flesh of her legs.

No. No. Oh god No. This is wrong. I can't be turned on.

"Stop that," she protested, her voice sounding harsher to herself than to him. Her hand found his, stilling his manipulations.

"We had a deal," Xander said, his voice still gentle. "Remember?"

Spike. Jail. Bastard.

Her hand loosened instantly. Xander picked her up quickly, then turned them around and took them to the middle of the bed, laying her down.

"God you're beautiful," he whispered, touching her cheek.

"Don't," she said, closing her eyes and looking away.

"Just…..don't."

Xander cupped her chin to make her look at him.

She bit her lip when he brought his face down to meet hers. When their noses touched she closed her eyes. She could sense him hovering over her, feel his breath on her face. And suddenly he was gone.

Buffy opened her eyes, to see him putting his shirt back on. She blinked a few times, not understand what the hell was going on.

"What?" she said, her voice barely a croak. So she tried again.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Xander said, his voice flat. "Forget it. Just….forget it."

"Forget what?" Buffy said.

"Our…..arrangement."

"But….."

"This isn't what I want," Xander said. "Not like this."

Buffy would have screamed at him if she could summon the energy.

"This….isn't…..what…you….want?"

"I want Buffy," Xander said.

"The one full of life and laughter and love. Not an unwilling corpse."

"Then that's too fucking bad," Buffy said harshly.

"Just…..forget the whole thing," Xander said.

"Fine," Buffy said. "Get out."

She massaged her temple. trying to digest this information.

"Wait," she said, as if it had just occurred to her. "What about Spike?"

"What about him?" Xander said, not looking at her.

"You promised," Buffy said, her voice trembling with accusation.

"You promised you'd help."

"You didn't give me a reason," Xander said, tucking in his shirt and turned to go.

"What the hell do you want from me?"

Buffy said, her voice shaking with fury as she rose from the bed.

Xander looked back at her. He considered it.

"I want you," he said simply.

When Buffy opened her mouth to argue he added,

"To forget about Spike," he said. "He doesn't exist anymore."

Buffy goggled at him.

"I want you to seduce me. To make love with me. Make me believe you want me."

Oh you have to be fucking kidding me, Buffy thought, as her mouth hung open, searching for a response.

"This is …crazy" she spluttered.

"Your choice," Xander said quietly.

There was no threat in his voice. Then again, there really didn't need to be. He held all the cards. Buffy knew that this was the only way to keep her husband out of jail. She exhaled deeply.

"So, what then?"

He took a long pause, considering the situation.

"Let's start over," he said.

"Okay," Buffy said.

"Newlyweds," Xander spoke.

"Huh?" Buffy asked, completely bewildered by him. "Who?"

"You," he stated, chuckling at the look on her face.

"And me. Us."

"I…."

"We're on our honeymoon," Xander added quickly.

"And you can't keep your hands off me."

Oh, Buffy thought. He wants us to pretend. Newlyweds.

Totally not crazy.

"I'll wait," Xander said, sitting down, gesturing for her to get back to the bathroom.

Buffy felt her world spin, but nodded, she took those few steps towards the bathroom.

When she opened the door, she heard him call out to her.

"Buffy," he said, she looked back at him.

"Make it real," he said.

There was almost a pleading tone in his voice. Almost. But this time, she heard the threat.

That's my price.

Buffy shut the door. She resisted the urge to slam her head into it. This is insane, she thought desperately. I can't do this.

"You have to," she said quietly.

She stared at herself in the mirror.

But how can I? How?

She thought about it, before an old method her high school drama teacher had waxed on about.

Immersion, she remembered. It was called immersion.

Living in character.

She knew she simply didn't have the time, so she closed her eyes. Quickly, she tried to build up alternate history of their 'characters.'

"Newlyweds," she muttered. "Me and Xander. On our honeymoon. Newlyweds. On our honeymoon. Can't keep our hands off each other."

Xander sat on the bed, tossing his shirt to the ground once again. He waited for a few seconds, his impatience growing. He was about to call to her, when the door swung open.

"Hey baby," she said to him. She leant against the door, somehow accentuating her long smooth legs. Her voice was husky. Her eyes were ablaze.

"Miss me?"

Xander couldn't believe it. This wasn't the same woman. Just a short while ago, she seemed so unsure of herself. So meek. But that woman was behind the door. This magnificent creature stood tall and proud, accentuated by her high heels. She was eyeing him as if he were her prey.

"Come here and I'll show you," Xander said his voice husky with lust. She stepped to the bed playfully, giving him a seductive smile.

"What do you think?" she asked, biting her lip playfully.

"Like my outfit?"

"I dunno," he said, standing up to extend his hand.

"I think I need a closer look."

When Buffy placed her hand in his, she was jolted back into reality. Her eyes widened. She stared at his hand. She swallowed, looking at him, blinking hard. Her "character" melted away. And it all came flooding, rushing, gushing, back to her. Spike. Jail. Blackmail. Xander. Pretend.

Newlyweds, she thought, closing her eyes. Newlyweds in love. She dedicated the whole of her self to those very thoughts, and with great effort, cleared her mind. And then she let herself be filled by those thoughts. When she opened her eyes, she wasn't herself. She was someone else. Someone new. Someone swept up in love and want and need.

"Better?" she asked, smiling seductively, clearing the frown from his face.

"Barely," he said, reaching out for her.

Buffy felt her breath quicken when his hands curled around her waist, then pulled her flush against him.

Xander looked into her eyes deeply, as if trying to determine something.

"I love you," he said, cupping her chin, his eyes a soft brown.

"I love you so much."

Spike's Buffy would have screamed. She would have slapped him. She would have told him to go to hell. She would have kneed him in the groin. But that Buffy wasn't here. She couldn't be here tonight. That Buffy had been pushed down, so deep that she could only see and hear what was happening as if it was to another person.

"Show me." she said, her voice husky.

Disappointment flickered behind Xander's eyes. Just for a moment. Then it was gone.

"Can I have you? Xander asked, softly. He wanted to give her

another chance. He needed to hear her say it.

"I'm yours," she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Take me."


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy opened her eyes, blinking hard. Once. Twice. Thrice. She felt the pillow against her head first, then the ache of her limbs, and lastly, her body, naked and sweaty. She raised her head, rubbed her eyes with her hands and sat up.

"Morning," a lazy, smug voice said, as a hand caressed her back, making her look over her shoulder.

Buffy gasped when she saw Xander lying back against the headboard, a sly satisfied smile on his face. And then she remembered.

"Oh," she said, as the memories came flooding back.

_Last night. The things I…..we….the things we did._

"Oh god," she whispered, shutting her eyes, realizing that she was too overcome with shock to feel anything. She was damn glad of that. She didn't want to feel. Not yet. Not now. Not ever.

"Morning," Xander said, running a finger down her back, pausing to caress her flesh.

"No," Buffy said, pushing his hand away angrily, turning around to glare at him, clutching the sheet to herself. She was happy to focus on her rage, anything to distract from the hurt she knew was coming. Eventually.

"_That's….._over."

Xander chuckled, gently tugging at her bedsheet. She'd put on a hell of a show last night. And now, he expected it to continue. For a little while at least.

"Soon," Xander said, giving the sheet a tug. "Not yet."

"It is," Buffy hissed, "you promised….."

"You'll get everything you want," Xander whispered. "I remember."

Buffy opened her mouth to tell him to leave, but he cut her off.

"After I get _everything_ I want…." he said, biting his lip and pulling at the sheet. Buffy folded her arms, stopping the cloth from moving any lower.

"Are you sure?" Xander said, the threat in his voice unspoken, but present.

_It would all be for nothing,_ she realized. She wanted to have left the things she did last night, no, the things that _that_ Buffy did in the darkness, but she had no choice.

_Just a little while more._

Buffy's hold on the sheet slackened and he tugged until only their nakedness was left between them. As Xander came forward and took her in his arms, Buffy realized he had absolutely no intention of letting her go. Until he absolutely had to. She was right. He kept her in bed all morning, his smooth voice coaxing threats that she knew that would have made her skin crawl, had she been able to feel.

Xander Harris couldn't stop himself for grinning as he dressed himself. He'd done it. He'd bedded Buffy Summers, his dream girl. He'd had her in every way a man could have a woman last night. At least twice. He'd made sure of that. And this morning was just the cherry on….her cherry. He noticed that she wasn't looking at him. He wondered if she was wary of antagonizing him.

"You should go," Buffy said, her voice weary.

"I need to…."

Buffy stopped herself. She wouldn't think of him. She wouldn't. Not until Xander was gone.

"Welcome back your husband," Xander said, giving her a sly smile. One she had seen up close, several times already. One that would haunt her dreams.

"I know. He's a lucky man"

"Go," Buffy said, turning her head. "Just….go."

Xander nodded, then sat down. He bent over her, then turned her face until she was looking at him.

"Goodbye Buffy," he whispered, touching her face. And then he kissed her one last time. When Buffy opened her eyes, he was licking his lips, savouring a final taste of her. She closed her eyes again and then he was gone.

What now? she thought desperately, looking around. What's left of my marriage now?

Later…..

At four a clock, Buffy finally managed to drag herself out of bed. She only had a couple of hours until Spike came home. She made her way to the bathroom, and jumped into the hot shower. She brushed until her gums nearly bled, washed and scrubbed until her skin was raw and pink and clean. Even though she refused to think about it, she knew she was trying to rid herself of his smell and scent of him. She focused on cleaning herself, keeping her mind occupied. The last thing she wanted to do was to reflect on what had happened last night. And this morning.

"Nothing happened," she whispered, as she dried her hair, trying to make herself believe it. "Nothing," she said determinedly, opening her eyes to stare at herself in the mirror. She knew it wasn't true, but she didn't care. She was going to make it so.

"Just a bad dream," Buffy said in a hushed voice. "A bad dream." She nodded to herself firmly and stepped out of the bathroom. She chose a flowery, feminine dress that always made her feel good and got dressed slowly, trying to minimize the soreness in her body that was a harsh reminder of the truth. She tended to her make up, then glanced at the clock. 17:45. She didn't have much time. She looked around to see that the room was a mess. Her eyes fell on the black negligee she had worn the night before, startling proof of both her undying love for her husband and her infidelity to him.

Whore, she heard a voice whisper in her mind, insidiously. Whose, she couldn't tell. Perhaps it was Xander's. Perhaps Spike's. Perhaps her own. Her lips quivered just a little, her eyes watered and then she took a deep breath and was back in charge. Quickly she began clearing up. She picked up the outfit and tossed it into the corner, then did the same with the sheets and the pillow cases, without any emotion. She quickly made the bed, then bent down, looking for trash under. And she stared at what she found.

Used condoms. And plenty of them. More evidence of what never happened. Despite being 'in character' she'd been smart enough to insist that they use protection. And Xander had agreed, albeit very reluctantly. But only in exchange for her going down on him. And staying until the very end. Something he'd made her do so many, many times. Even just thinking about it now, for a moment, made her sick. The whole thing had played out as a farce. They had pretended to be two lovers bantering. But neither of them was delusional enough to actually buy into it. They both knew exactly what was going on. They were making a deal. Her virtue for his silence.

She hurried into the bathroom to get a packet of tissues, gathering up the condoms, when she suddenly stopped. We used condoms last night. And this morning…..right?

"Right," Buffy said, "of course we used condoms this morning. Of course we did. That was the deal."

And then she remembered. She had awoken, sleepy and groggy. Xander had caught her off guard. He'd threatened her into letting him have her. Again and again and again.

Without condoms, Buffy realized suddenly, feeling absolutely nauseous.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "No. No. No. No."

"NO!" she screamed flinging the tissues and the condoms away, letting herself collapse to the floor and weep. She didn't know how long she stayed there. She didn't care. She screamed and cried until she passed out. When she awoke, she found that the room was pitch dark. She wiped her tear soaked cheeks with her hands, then looked around.

"Spike?" she whispered into the darkness. She stood on shaky legs, then turned on the bedside light. The room was empty. She went to the hall, expecting to find him just sitting there, looking at her. Empty. The kitchen? Empty. The guest bedroom? Empty. She reached for the house phone, but it wasn't there. She spotted her mobile on the coffee table, then snatched it up.

12 Missed Calls. 4 new messages. All from William.

Her hands trembled as she clicked on the messages.

"Plane delayed. Should be back later on tonight. I love you."

Next message.

"Plane cancelled. Should be back tomorrow. Bloody southwest airlines. I love you. I'm sorry."

Next message

"Buffy, call me. Been trying to reach you. Please. I'm sorry love. I'm sorry. Please."

Final message

"Don't shut me out love. Please don't shut me out. I tried to tell you. So many times I tried. I just couldn't.

Please. I love you. Call me back. Please."

Buffy stared at the phone, then dialled his number. He picked it up on the second ring.

"Buffy," he whispered, "Where have you been? I've been going crazy…."

"I'm fine," Buffy managed to croak. "Honey, I just took a sleeping pill. I haven't been feeling well."

"Oh thank god," Spike said, his voice sounding clearly relieved.

A moment of awkward silence rested between them.

"Look," Spike said, taking a deep breath. "I didn't want

you to worry. I've hired the best lawyer to defend me. And we ….."

You don't need a lawyer, Buffy almost blurted out. Not after what I…. Oh god, what did I do?..

"Just…..come home Spike," she said instead. "Come home to me."

"I'll be there tomorrow," Spike promised.

"I love you," Buffy whispered, hanging up the phone, then stared at it. "You have no idea how much I love you."

She hugged herself, making her way back into the bedroom and turned on the lights. All she saw were condoms and tissue papers. And then she remembered.

The condoms.

She searched the drawers of her room frantically. She couldn't find her morning after pills. Or her prescription.

"Did Xander take them?" she asked herself, shaking her head. After last night and this morning, she wasn't ready to put anything past him.

"Did you take them, you bastard," she asked, her voice breaking. Yet she managed to control herself. Moments later, she realized what she had to do. She swallowed her pride and dialed the number of her ultimate frenemy.

"Yeah," she heard a gruff voice answer.

"I need your help," Buffy said.

"Hello to you too blondie," Faith said, sickly sweetly. "It's been a while."

"Come over," Buffy said. "And…"

"And?" Faith repeated, her interest suddenly peaked.

Buffy gulped. "And…..bring…"

"Bring what blondie?" Faith teased. "A dildo? Loverboy ain't getting it done? I'm touched..."

"Bring some morning after pills," Buffy said, hanging up the phone.

"Well fuck me," Faith whistled. "Blondie's a bad girl. Who knew?"

"Shut the fuck up," the guy sleeping next to her growled.

"Get the fuck out," Faith responded.

"Seriously?" he asked, raising his head. Faith smiled, bending over to retrieve a stun gun she'd kept under her bed since college. She brandished it threateningly, and he threw up his arms.

"Call me," she mocked as he beat a hasty retreat, falling all over himself to get away. "Loser."

Faith searched her stash until she came upon her morning after pills. She looked at them, and then called Buffy back.

"I'm out," she said.

"What?" Buffy croaked. "You're…out?"

"What can I say," Faith grinned, enjoying herself.

"Keep looking. Please."

"Oh I can keep looking," Faith said, checking her nails. "I was just…."

"Just what?" Buffy asked.

"Just wondering why you need morning after pills."

"Because I had sex," Buffy growled. "Duh."

"You told me you were trying to have a baby. Remember?" Faith teased. "And don't morning after pills..."

Oh god. Buffy remembered. That's why she hadn't refilled her prescription. Of course.

"We changed our minds," Buffy said, her voice shaking.

"You're lying B," Faith said, clearly amused. "So tell me. Who didja fuck that wasn't your husband?"

"No one," Buffy insisted.

"Bbye B," Faith threatened.

"It wasn't like that," Buffy blurted out.

"So you did," Faith grinned. "Who?"

"No one," Buffy insisted. "Faith please….."

"Where?" Faith said, switching tacks. "You gotta gimme something B. Or no pills for Buffy."

"At home," Buffy whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "In my bed." She didn't want to say anything, but she couldn't help herself. It was like drawing poison from her veins.

"You're so nasty B," Faith grinned. "Now be a good girl and tell me who it was."

"Xander Harris," Buffy whispered instinctively, "It was Xander. He…"

"Spike's boss?" Faith chuckled, "Well what do you know. Mr happily married nice guy has a working dick. Well, that's one way of getting your husband ahead. Giving his boss some head."

Buffy felt tears come to her eyes.

"Did you enjoy it B?" Faith taunted, eager to extract one last pound of flesh.

"No," Buffy croaked. She knew she couldn't stop now, even if she wanted to. "He blackmailed me. Faith, I didn't want to. But I had to. I had to pretend. Otherwise..."

Faith stopped breathing. What the fuck.

"What are you saying B?" she said carefully.

"I think...i think he raped me."

"I'll be right over," Faith promised.

"He raped me," Buffy realized, letting the phone fall to the floor.

Faith rubbed Buffy's back as the blonde wiped a tear from her face. She had listened in disbelief as Buffy recounted what had happened last night. Her disbelief had turned to shock when she had heard the proposal that Xander had placed before Buffy. And then anger, when Buffy had told her that she had let him in her bed last night.

"I made sure we used protection," Buffy said quickly.

"Every single time?" Faith asked skeptically, shaking her head.

"Yes," Buffy whispered. "I made sure of it."

"And the pills?" Faith asked, looking down at the pills in her hand.

"Just….to be safe," Buffy said, faltering a little.

Buffy couldn't bring herself to tell Faith what had happened this morning. She just couldn't. She would take the pills and then things would be fine. Completely fine. Faith looked at her disbelievingly, knowing that Buffy was holding something back. She decided to ignore it.

"Buffy," Faith said, shaking her head. "You know you can't trust that son of a bitch. Right?"

"I know," Buffy said miserably. "I didn't have a choice."

"I'm sorry," Faith said, exhaling audibly. "I'm here for you okay? Whatever you need."

"Thanks," Buffy said, drying her eyes.

"You hear me B?" Faith asked. "Whatever you need."

Buffy frowned when Faith gave her a hard stare, as if trying to comprehend what Faith was saying. She stared at the pills on the table for a while, before she reached out for one, praying that it would work.

The next day…..

"I can explain," Spike said. They had been sitting across the table for the last hour, each of them trying to find the words to start.

"Yes or no?" Buffy asked, looking down at her lap.

"It's not that simple," he said softly.

"Explain it to me," Buffy said, keeping her voice deliberately steady.

"I…..borrowed….some….money," Spike said. "Just for a little while. Until things got better. I kept paying some of it back from my salary. It…didn't really cost anyone anything."

It cost me everything, Buffy wanted to scream at him.

He can never know, she had realized, as she tossed and turned on the very bed on which she had betrayed her marriage vows. Never.

"So…what happened?" she asked, a hint of bitterness creeping into her voice.

"Xander found out," Spike said, tapping the table nervously. "But he said he'll cover for me. Until I pay all of it back. He swore."

Bastard, Buffy thought, with loathing she fought hard to conceal. Spike can never know. Ever.

"It'll be okay," Spike promised, reaching out to take her hand in his. "I swear. We'll take care of it."

I already did, Buffy thought. Oh god, what did I do?

They lapsed into a long silence once again.

"I'm….going to stay in the guest bedroom," Buffy said, withdrawing her hand.

"Buffy…." Spike said as she rose from her seat, then walked away. "We can get past this."

The plea in his voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Not today," Buffy said, wiping her hand with her eyes.

Spike stared blankly after her, unable to believe what he had just heard. He had done this for her. He expected her to be upset, but surely not this much.

"Fuck," he whispered, rubbing his head.

I need a bloody drink. Or ten thousand.

When he heard his cellphone buzz he swore, but he felt glad.

"Hey man," Xander's concerned voice said. "When didja get back? How are you?"

"I'm okay," Spike said, rubbing his head. "I need a fucking drink. Or a million."

"Lemme guess?" he heard Xander say, in an amused voice. "Buffy."

"Yeah," Spike chuckled bitterly. "Buffy."

Xander smirked as his brain flashed several delicious memories. Of him and Buffy acting out his many fantasies.

Oh if you could only see your precious Buffy, Xander thought, shutting his eyes. See what she did to me. With me. What she let me do to her. If you could only see…..

"Listen man," Xander said, trying to sound sincere. "I had to tell Anya. I'm sorry. I couldn't keep it in, ya know? She's my wife. I promise she's cool."

"You sure about that?" Spike asked, swallowing heavily. "My arse is on the line."

"She hates the old man's guts," Xander chuckled. "As much as she likes you. Don't worry. It's like it never happened."

It was yet another of the things that had infuriated Xander. The way his wife acted around Spike. Like a fucking schoolgirl. The way she shut her eyes when Xander made love to her. The way she bit her lip from moaning the wrong name. He grit his teeth, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat. It cut deep, knowing that his wife preferred another.

But not as much as knowing that your wife screwed another, Xander thought, smiling nastily. He felt an overwhelming urge to tell Spike what he had done, but controlled himself. No, as much as he'd enjoy torturing Spike, he knew that there was one thing he enjoyed even more. Bedding Spike's luscious wife again. And again. And again. He saw no reason to ever stop.

"How did Buffy take it?" Xander asked, unable to resist a double entendre.

I know exactly how she took it, Xander thought snorting. She loved every minute of it.

"Not well," Spike said gruffly.

"Don't worry," Xander said. "She'll come around."

"Thanks," Spike said, hanging up the phone.

She'll come all right, Xander thought running his hand over the soft sheets he was lying in. I'll make sure of it.

The next night…

"Can I have you? she heard a soft voice whisper in her ear.

A voice that was tender and sinister all at once.

"No," Buffy whimpered, as she lay under the covers. Her eyes were heavier than she could bear, yet deep sleep eluded her. She was halfway there, stuck between two worlds and belonging to neither.

"I'm yours," she heard a husky voice say inside her head. A voice that sounded urgent with need. But a voice that shook with trepidation. "Take me."

Whose voice was that? she wondered drowsily. A moment later she had her answer. Mine. It's my voice. But it wasn't. It couldn't be. She'd never say that to another man. She'd never cheat on her William. Never.

Her eyes were closed. She could feel his breath warm on her face, then a soft pair of lips graze her mouth, experimentally. She froze. Those weren't her husband's lips. Whose lips were those? Alarm bells set off in her head. Those strange lips lingered on her mouth. Smacking softly.

"No," she mumbled.

A moment later the lips felt insistent. And then almost with a hint of menace. And then she did the only thing she could do to defuse the tension. She kissed him back, again and again and again. As if trying to soothe his rage. Her hands were over his shoulders and running through his hair, trying to calm him down, reassuring him that she was his. Only his.

But it only stoked his passions and urged him on. Now his mouth had opened and his tongue was licking her lips, begging her to let him in. She had no choice. A moment later she opened her mouth and his tongue found hers. The tongues swirled about like two dancers, lapping and licking and sucking. They tongue kissed until they couldn't breathe, separated to draw in breath and then kissed some more.

Buffy wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She was going to throw up.

"Fuck I love tasting you," a voice rasped with undisguised glee. She opened her eyes to see him grinning at her.

Smile. Smile. Smile.

And then she was smiling and telling him she loved tasting him too.

Memories flashed quickly before her eyes. She was completely naked, her legs were over his shoulders. His mouth on her quim, his hands kneading her breasts. Her weak protests had been eventually pushed away by his mouth and tongue. She had bitten herself so hard she could taste her own blood.

She was kneeling between his legs, looking up at him. He was stroking her hair, his lustful eyes urging her on. And then he watched her pleasure him with her mouth. He was always watching her, smiling greedily, telling her he loved seeing her lips wrapped around his cock.

And then he was on top of her. Inside her. Behind her. Always thrusting away. His hands on her breasts. His tongue in her mouth. Telling her how much he loved her. Telling her how beautiful she was. Telling her how much he loved fucking her. Demanding she tell him she loved him. Demanding she admit that she loved him fucking her. Demanding she scream his name.

And she did. She lied to him, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear. And she lied to herself. It was her only way of coping that night.

And then Buffy leant over the side of the bed, spilling out the remnants of her pathetic dinner. And she wept.


End file.
